Life Is A Bitter Sweet Symphony

2007-01-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

A Glimpse of England ....[Part II]

Welcome to Portsmouth. My UK hometown for the past 5 years.....well since I got here. Portsmouth is smacked right at the bottom centre of England with a rather nice coastal beaches and sea front. There are many historical occurences here. From the day of Napoleon's invasion to WWII with D-Day and the assault on Normandy. It is a mixture of huge residential area with scattered shops and shopping malls, biggest naval base in England and a big Southsea Common.

Well...enough details...lets the pictured do the talking. First off, is the spring and summer season which brings out the best of the scenery and views.

The best place to be is the Seafront.....

In the distance is the South Parade Pier, which have amusement centre and restaurants mostly caters for chavvy kids and old peoples. On the left is the Piramid with indoor swimming pools and a mini water parks for kids. A good weekend hang out area for parents with a bunch of kids.

On the other side, we have underwater aquarium and huge green fields. From the picture, I was standing on the old Southsea Castle dated back to 1544 against foreign invasion. Being so close to France, the frenchies often dropped us a visit. This castle also defended Portsmouth from Napoleon naval ships, with cannons and fortifications.

"Where do you want to go today ?"

"Donut or Ice Cream ? Hmmmmmm...."

During the spring and summer seasons, the council people taken quite a task to plant flowers along the seafront and parks. Here are some of the photos I have taken when the flowers were blooming. Girls......say Wahhhhhh.......!!!!!

Sorry for the crooked photos. Technical fault =P . Well this is what I did for my b'day. Such a happy mood that day taking all those pictures. A time worth spending I might say .... =)

During the summer, I would take a walk around town taking pictures of interesting places and have a feel of what Portsmouth is like.

Oh what is this....????...The last photo.....
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Anyway, this time next month, I'll be back to mua REAL hometown ...Kuching....I just can't wait...!!

2007-01-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

A Glimpse of England ....[Part I]

These are a few photos taken over the past few years that I never seems to post it up till now.

So here we go. First stop.... the Arundel Castle. One of the best kept castle in England.

And this is the main entrance into the castle compound - The Gatehouse

And the beautiful gardens....

The castle walls.....

And then the inner compound......simply amazing...you'll never expect there are something like this inside a castle.....can't go to the inner sanctum because currently there is a Baroness Something Something still living there. =)

Then I went up to the highest tower in the castle.....and the view was absolutely breathtaking...can see enemies approaching from miles around..!!!

Well...it was one of the nicest trip last year. Cost a few quids to go in but hey....it felt like King Arthur walking around the castle. Lets see what is install for me this new year.....hmmmm.....got a list of places I want to go......so I hope to make it happen this year.

2007-01-04T16:34:00.000-08:00

Previously.....in 2006...................

Expectation, vision , hope and ambition. That is wht every new year is about. Contemplating at wht had happened the passed year and lessons to be learnt out of it. 2006 was somewhat a mix of ups and downs with many happiness and sadness, disappointments and successes. It has been a rather good year for me with many important decision to be made and good opportunities not to be missed. At the same time, it was the year that I walked out from my life as a nobody to a somebody.

Luck seems to be playing a major role in my life at this moment. From getting a job that I have at the moment to the place I'm living now.......sitting here still can't help feeling how lucky I am to be here. That year, I first got my own car. My very first car that I am super proud of until she got thirsty and I got to fill her up -__-"" She is gorgeous and really very reliable............*oh jeez....I need a gf !!!!* Anyway ...involved in my first accident (previous post) and scared me shitless. First major accident. Got her fixed and everyone are happy again.

Work wise, things been moving along very very rapidly. Days turns to weeks.....weeks sped on to months and before I knew it....it was the end of the year. The last day of the year....i just sat there dazed trying to figure out wht I have done for the pass 12 months. From a grad engineer to a project manager, it all went off in a break neck speed. Many mistakes I have done...stooopid things tht I did....well I have learnt from it and improved myself to be a competitive and reliable person thus earning myself a good reputation and respect among my colleagues. Thanks to Alan, my dept boss and Paul, second in command...soon to be Boss 2...working with them is a blessing and I am very lucky to work with fine people like them. Can't asked for better bosses than them. *salute* Thanks to Alan for his years of experience and expertise and also to Paul for pissing me off half the time and work up my self confidence and polishing my managerial skills. Adam for his companionship both at work and out of the office and specially to my best friend Natalie, for sharing with me her life, friendship and her huge doggie, Dukey....haha. She introduced me to things that I have been looking for all this while in UK. English culture and lifestyle, lovely countryside......I love dogs...hence spoil Dukey to pieces.....and sharing an interest for cars.....fast cars....Woot.... =D . She is the one that found this great studio house in a really nice countryside in Eastleigh and got me out from that crummy windowless garage bedroom in Portsmouth. Now I don't have to travel 2 hours each day on the road to work. In fact, she even got me a big ass tv......since I haven't got one.....!!!! Gosh..I owe her big time.

They are really great peeps. I thought I have lost all hope looking for nice peeps....but all are not lost. Oh...I have a doter (not literally) tht I'm really proud and care about a lot.....u know who u r.....and she really bring a lot of cheers in my life. It has been a great blessing knowing u and enjoyed every single moment chatting with u. Looking forward to see u when i'm back in Kch.

Anyway...2006 have been a busy year and can be said to be my first step up the ladder in community. I have ticked almost all the boxes that I have aimed to achieve and felt that it was a proper end to a fantastic year. Tho I'm getting old.......crap.....but hey...I'm a late bloomer....so time goes by slower... *wink*

2006-12-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

Tired

Tired of being nice...tired of being funny...tired of being so understanding....tired of being eager to please.....tired of work.....tired of being depressed.....tired of being lonely .... tired of these lunacy of life. Just wanted to lay down and forget about everything.

2006-10-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

The Passage Of Time

Thinking back around this time last year, things were definitely bleak and the future looked dark and barren. The prospect of going back to Malaysia, things were half packed, looking through the airplane tickets hoping to find the final trip back to Kuching with no hope of returning back to UK, things were not looking up. A final attempt to press on my luck and hope for the best......the final bunch of mails chucked into the mailbox hoping that this final week of my stay here in UK after 5 years would bring some sort of luck.

2 days later got a response from a company and got hooked up for an interview the same week itself. I was absolutely ecstatic. Receive interview letter on Thurs, went through the interview on Fri and got my permanent staff offer on Sat. Now ...that is a bit freakish. It is God's blessing =) ...2 weeks later I got my 5 years working permit and voila....work away. This coming Nov will be my first year here in my company and many things had happened. Being speed tracked in works and responsibilities ...... it has been a rough and tough year. I haven't really sat down and thought of what have going on through out the year. I still remembers thelast year Christmas party and soon ...it will be this year's Christmas party. Goodness, how time flies.

Finally got my life together, settled down.....found a decent place to live and legs to take me places. Things couldn't be better.Or so it seems. Standard of living have certainly improved ...but thats about it. The search of a companion is still on going and it is already turning pretty annoying when one by one....each of my closest friends either got engaged or married. And I am still here poodling about while time just flew by...and before you know it...you hit the 30 year old marker and start to feel really sorry for yourself. Many people of my age have either been through a few relationships and most have already found their partner for life. Gosh....and I am sitting here moaning about it.....damn sad I tell you. At first it is ok to think ....well..my time is not right yet....or the right person might pop out when you are least expected.. ..all the well wishes from people who got attached well thanks for the encouragement...but after a few years.....I do started to fret and.....annoyingly...even my lil bro already attached himself to his partner recently and pop a few consolation for me.....ok this is sooooo wrong.....AArrghhhh....

Peer pressure...hehehe....I will not crack under peer pressure ...*mumble mumble* ...haha...well...hopefully this time around ...when going back for CNY....I hope to find someone "interesting" and stop being fussy about what kind of girls I gonna meet....heheheh....but actually I am not all that fussy lar.....not like what "someone" who keep saying that I am...!!!...Honest..!!!...I am so ready to jump into any relationship....wait wait wait.....that is sooo darn desperate... -_- ....hehe....dunno lah....I just plainly dun care about it anymore......die as a vir........choi choi choi.......touch wood.... I am not going there...hehehe

So life goes on....do my usual bit of flirting in the office.... car pooling with ermmmm.....let say the prettiest girl in the office, walk her dog.....hehe...load of eyes and whisper in the office nowadays....haha...and be beaten the shit out by her bf.....LOL...hope not....All I wanna do now is to stop feeling sorry for myself.....low esteem okay......keep my tits up.....errr... wits I mean .... and hope for the best....mana lah tahu bila durian jatuh timpa kelapa.....errr..kepala....

At the moment, I have a really dear friend that keeps my heart beating and another keeping my head running.....hehehe...which I kept close to my heart.....and mind..... =P
Now for pete sake......I better head back home before being labeled as a chronic workaholic. Now become bloody best friend with the security guard.....jeez...something is wrong here...
Cham....well..thats that....it has been a long time since I last blogged......well...nuttin worth blogging.....well..there are something worth blogging but I might loose my only reader ...and I certainly dun wanna do that.....hehehe....till then au revoir....!!!!!....until next time.....................................

2006-10-17T03:14:00.000-07:00

Finally Some Recognitions......*salute*

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/84130625.html

2006-09-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

Identity.....???

Until recently, I am still unsure of who I am, or what am I going to be, should I get my act together, or do I just go with the flow, just see where the waves of Life going to take me. Or should I put my feet down and say, " Alright, from now on this will be the real me" . These are the questions that have been running in my head and it just never get to be answered. It does come down to one thing, that is self-confidence. I must admit, it has been the bane of my existence all this while, and some of my best friends did raised the concern and gave me supports.

Who am I want to be actually? Through out the years I have spend most of my time alone. Though plenty of times, I am seen mingle with others or hang around with groups of friends, I am still pretty much keeping to myself. Is it because I am an anti social or just being a bore? The reason I kept to myself is because I love to observe. To be in the background observing people as they go on with their lives, things they do, stuffs they say, their body languages, outlooks, habits and styles. While observing these facts, I found myself adapting to them and their way of life. I have become the character who changes masks according to the surrounding, never revealling the true self, studying what others are doing and the choices they are making. As the world goes by, I just stood there behind the scene, observing as lives whirl by, people coming and going until one day I have realised that I myself would like to take a step into the whirlpool and blend in. To be a part of someone's life.

A step into the reality. Before blending in and adapt to others around me, it is time for me to set myself, to be what I want to be and what I like to be. From all the observations, I have grown to understand the meaning of Life, the struggles, the sacrifices and the suffering. These few months is going to be the stepping stones for me to determine what I want to be. At least until Chinese New Year. This will be the journey towards maturity, experience and wisdom. Lo behold, there are a lot of discoveries to be made. With the help from Doc Freakenstein of course.

2006-09-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

Updates...!!!!...

After taking a long, long hiatus from blogging, well I would like to update on what have been going on and what is going to happen in the near future. First off, I am currently in the process of moving to my new place ....having to spend 5 years and 4 days in Portsmouth... I guess it is time to move on and find a new place or a new environment. No more sharing a house with strangers, having to bear with no privacy, to have ur private room intruded, looted, messed up, not having someone puking on ur carpet, pinching your goodies that you are saving or hiding....not to have housemates having to come back, drunk and rowdy, fights, doing drugs, smokes in your room, leaving beer cans around the place, spilling it and causing your room smelled like a pub, using your computer when you are not around, watching your private collections of...errr...*cough cough* anime (hey..what are you think , huh??), having strange girls dropping by to see your housemates (it can be depressing you know), to be picked on when you are not doing your duties properly or not doing it at all (I am very notorious in skipping my duties), having cops and marshalls barging into the house, and many many more. I am free from all this. Yii pee.

Can there be changes in my life after I move ?? Never know. A few of my colleagues been hinting on stuff we all could do together from binge drinking (just kidding)...more to weekly meet ups for a game of pool to badminton, walking doggies in the park, mountain biking at the nearest park, golfing and even having friends over for a meal. All this sound very social ...joyous and happy...like this are looking up. Hmmmm...something to look forward to ...yes..???

2006-09-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

The Unexpected....

(And this is on the 15 June 2006)
I guess nothing much happened until recently.....wouldn't want to bore you all bout my work. Seems to spend more and more time in the office rather thn home. Nowadays got to office at 7.30am and came home around 7pm.....Depressing. Well...I hope things will pick up and there will be more interesting posting *fingers crossed*

Anyway....thought life just set into a boring routine .....until stuffs started to happen yesterday. On my usual drive to work at 7am till I got into an accident. I was driving around 50mph when cars in front suddenly stop......damn sudden as well....and I was practically stood on my brakes and pulling my handbrakes. Managed to stop in time but unfortunately cars behind failed to stop in time and ran into the back of my car.....bleeding surprise when i felt a big jolt in my car and I just gasped...*OH SHIT*...

Then I came out of my car a bit shaken to see the damage...and to my utmost surprise.....I was SHOCKED to see there are 4 other cars behind also crashed on each other.....Oh My Gawd...!!! Looked back at my car....I saw a big dent on my bumper.....then I went over to other vehicle to check on the drivers....car No.3 and 4 looks like it will be written off. The front and the back were totally wrecked....steam and smoke came out of the cars....The driver of car 3 i have discovered just got her license just 6 days ago...and she was really shaken ...poor girl....others seems to be ok...

That time, we have created one heck of a traffic jam.....the accident happened on the motorway.... during AM Peak time somemore......later I heard the jam queued for almost 5 miles. Wow....5 minutes later police arrived and took some details from each drivers...drove to the hard shoulder and 2 cars need to be pushed...then I was being questioned and took a breath analyse test.....check for alcohol comsumption.....I think thts too early in the morning...when all details were taken...well...time to move on and get to work......now I gotta sort out my insurance claim...and to fix my car...thts gonna be next week....Went for a car inspection this morning...and the damage I am entitled to claim is about GBP800.....wow....well....tht will sort out the existing scratches and dinks....

Well I just hope things will worked out right at the end....kinda realise tht I'm darn lucky not to get hurt and the damage was not so bad....though it is a bit of a sore eye to drive it around now.....haha...

Anyway...hope things will sort itself out these few days....now I'm going to bed...zzz....until next time..... =P

2006-09-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

Thought Of The Day

(Taking from my previous post at June 2006)

Been going through several photos posted by several of my friends in friendster......and came to a conclusion....I need to get a life...and get a darn digital camera. ^_^

Same thing with a few fav bloggers that have impressive collection of photos from daily encounters and memories posted up and reflect how interesting and colourful are their lives. For me, these few weeks have been harrowing and mind boggling. Work, work, work and more work. UUgghh.

Seems to me that it is a surprising news from other perceptions where working in UK means you have to bear with the boredom and things are plodding along in a slow pace. Well this is not the case for my work. Stuffs piled up to my nose and I'm building a Great Wall of UK of files and stacks of paper on my work desk. Things are not looking too pretty. Well that all for work and just went through my salary review and work appraisal.....hope things will be looking up.

So here I am...back from the dead and now manage to sit down and relax...trying to fill you in with whats been happening these few weeks...
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NOTHING.....nothing been going on really just a trip to London last week to meet up with a long lost friend of mine. It has been a really good meeting and catching up with each other. She's one of the Sarawakian that came over to futher study and now she is working for a big company in UK and have a successful career. Took me to a few places in London....National Modern Museum or something.....Chinatown...Meridian Greenwich.....the place where the time zone started....GMT...felt like I was standing at the starting point of time for the day. Great view of London from there though....cos Meridian Greenwich is near London and it is the high hill for miles around....surrounded by parks and flower garden. Weather at that day was terrific...can't show you the photos just yet cos it is still in my friend's place. Went to Harrods.....oh my..tht place really reeks of $$$$, Sheiks, Millionair-wannabes, yuppies...and some poor lost tourists.

So thats my days in London, reason for going also to break the routine of wandering around Portsmouth bored and wearing a get-me-outta-here look. Anyway, next day, I went to Commercial Rd back in Portsmouth to get a new contract for my phone. Now that I stuck to my first ever hp that I got (a Nokia 8310)...I'm desperate to get a new phone. sent my K750i home for my mom "sempena sambutan Hari Ibu" hehehehe...have a shot at my rusted BM...=P
Currently I'm ogling over this Samsung latest phone.....E900...which I think beats the crap out of tht LG Chocolate.....sorry Kenny.....LG...hmmm...got a long way to go. Got everything set up ..but O2 says that I got 3 lines which are still active and they cannot grant me another one.....WHOT..???...3 lines..??!!..So I go about cancelling 2 of those lines.....thought I have done it months ago....and now I have to go all the hassle to cancel the account ...writing in to say that I'm finish with O2 and piss off......we are in 2006 and still have to write letters....???!!!...hello...???...whats wrong with emails..???..geez...buying stamps....writing letters...print.....stick it in the envelope....look for a post box....I'M TOO LAZY TO DO IT...too much hassle. Things I need to do...uugghhh

Gawd...I'm all squinty eyes now.....tired...been a bz day today....but I'll leave that to the next post. Oh hey, Charlene is due to be back any days now...so I'm kinda expecting a call from her these few days....Welcome back to UK girl......and oh....She's moving to her new apartment.....lucky girl....Anyway Cheerio..!!!

2006-09-21T04:56:00.000-07:00

Just Another Day

Well...here I am sitting in my office, fiddling around with my pen and try to look busy (as usual). Feel really tired today having to wake up 6.00 in the morning and to drive 40 min to work. Life can't get any better than this. By the time I got to the office, I'm ready to go home...!!!

Stayed up very late yesterday cos I was reading a good book and it is hard to tear my eyes off it till I got to the very end. And now sitting here, I felt like someone has been flushing my head in the toilet bowl a couple of time. Things are not looking up. Tons of work stacked up on my desk with bits and pieces of papers strewned all over my table waited to be sorted out. Well this gonna be another day at work *sigh*. Its time to get some magic water..!! Coffee. The substance that will keep me going for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I will be reduced to a caffeine loaded zombie that stare blankly at my computer screen.

Looking outside, the blue sky, the green trees and the chirping birds seems to be beckoning me to spend a day outside and here I am, sitting here, looking out *sob*. Someone get me outta here..!!! Can't wait for the weekend ... and that's a day away. My colleague is suggesting to visit a local pub nearby during lunch break and hey..thats a very good idea =) It is kind of a routine outting usually on Friday, but today the weather looks too nice to be stuck here in the office. So hopefully I could dunk a pint or two, a game of pool and soak up the sun. Things might improve for the better later in the afternoon. Jeez....all this ranting really make me sounded like I'm having my mid-life crisis. Well....more like a quarter-life crisis. Haha.

Tonite will be my second attempt to get my TV to work again =( When one of my director overheard that I don't have a TV, he was horrified and offered me one of his 14' portable TV. Great..!!!..Finally I got a TV to watch. The problem now is that currently the room I'm renting is more of a bunker than a proper room. Trying to get a reception in my room is like setting up a TV in an underground car park. Yesterday, I bought a long aerial cable with magnetic end so u can stick it to something metallic outside the house for reception. So yesterday nite, I was out and about , armed with my magnet, sticking it to anything from water pipes, rubbish bins, garage doors, laundry lines and even my car...!!! but to no avail. Reception in my housing area is really terrible. So have to make do with grainy pictures for now =( Tonite I might grab my cooking wok and stuck it on top of the roof. Lets see how things go tonite.

2006-08-30T01:29:00.000-07:00

Car & New Crib....

CHICKEN....!!!!!....Yesterday my exhaust dropped off as I was on my way to a site visit. So today I took a half day off to get it fixed. Shockingly it cost me £70 ...!!!!..£$%^&* ...Darn it. Been saving for an induction kit and bang it went to the exhaust. Worse thing is...my car used to Grrrrrowl......but now it just meekly purrrr.....Bo Lat....*faint* Well at least I'm back to my initial plan to change for a quieter exhaust. Hehehe. Anyway got a present for my car....a front upper strut...Sparco....yummy......

Guess that till now I think I'm having a pathetic life. Car freak. -_- Anyway enuff bout car. Getting tired of it....finish pimping it....I need a life...!!!!...HELP...!!

End of Sept I'll be moving to my new place in Eastleigh. Goodbye Portsmouth....after 5 years living there.....hmmm...dunno wht I'm gonna miss. Sure will miss Charlene.....but I'll pop over for the weekend. Got my own flat this time 2 storey flat. Bed room and bathroom in the first floor and living room with kitchen and dining on the ground floor. Nice homey neigbourhood. Will post pic when I move in. Rental is very steep compared with what I'm paying now but....well..minus the car petrol and wear&tear...I guess it worth it.....NEED BIGGER SALARY...WOI....!!!

The Past, The Present And The Future - Part I
02 July 2006

It is so hot that I can't even lift a finger.....barely. It is hot and dry...feeling of thin air and suffocating....uugghhh.... I think i'll be heading to the beach later...just to sit around and enjoy a slight breeze of fresh air....but first have to address my hunger....hmmm...feeling hungry now....

Jeez...the whole weekend just sit around.....can't say lazing...cos I hate lazing around.....just din get the time to do wht I wanna do.....got a com sitting downstairs waiting for me to give it a tweak and run it as my internet server....jeez...I just need to get my ass up and start doing. These 2 days just been doing things spontaneously.....like...hmm...ok lets go.....errr...go where...???.....errr...ok Gunwharf.....away I go....to meet Charlene...who was spending a rather BORING day at work....finished her lunch hour before 3pm...!!!!...Bugger....How often does tht happened..???!!!...Things must be that bored.

Hmmm..Not bad....words started to flow.....Mind is running....ok I ran out of juice.....uugghh...just kidding....well....just wanna say that I got my car fixed....the car looks brand new now....Oh crap...I forgot to wash the car....there's still time.....always at the end of a weekend I tends to forgotten all the things I've planned to do...and ended up postponing it to the next weekend....Buggeroo....hmmm...I better lay off the "......" getting noticible all across the post. Hehe

Haven got time to call Mandy and Lyn. Jeez. But manage to call Lena till my batt ran out. Mom gonna kill me. I forgot to call her too!!! Not actually forgotten lah, just that currently I can't face my family with the dilemma that I'm facing now. Financial Difficulty. No matter how well I try to manage it...it just fall over. Until one day I realise, I got a rubbish pay. Darn it. How the hell am I gonna face my parents...jeez..the burden is humongeous.

Wht more...I got to cough up 350 quid just to advance payment for my car repair then claim it from my insurance company. Insurance company are bloody useless. Calling them for many hours trying to get things through and I worried tht my this mth's bill gonna skyrocketted. More worries.

Anyway next week is coming...another vicious fight towards the end of the month till pay day. Today is just the 2nd and I got half the salary left. 600 quid spent in 2 days....OH GAWD. Well life like tht...tough shit. Wht i dun wanna do is to affect my well being and my sanity. Luckily office guys are marvelous....been very supportive and understanding.

But then hey...office work have been tremendously exciting....without realising it....it is already the end of the week. That's how interesting my job can get. My senior used to say that the worst thing about working in an Ang Mo company is the boredom....but I'll say in my case.....the stuffs been coming in truck loads.... can u imagine....having 2 days off...when u return...ur outlook are practically jammed with emails....85 new mails...!!!!!..took me 3 hours just to sort it out.!!!!! But then it is challenging and I'm loving it. Just the pay are crap and rubbish.

Well well well....see how much I have written. I've some differences in the way I'm thinking at the moment. Last time I was able to think ahead...mebbe 1 year in advance, but see how things conjured up at the moment, I can hardly plan for next month. And that started to worry me. I used to be able to grasp my life and plan it the whole month through, but at this moment, I'm haphazard disorganised and take things one day at a time. I'm just hoping tht nothing major gonna happen these few weeks or else shit gonna hit the fan anytime soon. Feeling very vulnerable. I am the the type of person tht dictate my own life and take life at the scruff it its neck. But now I feel like free falling without a parachute and dunno how far I'm going to fall. I haven't see where this gonna ended up at. The fear factor. Well this month gonna be a tough month ahead.

The only thing to look up to is Dee's visit to England. I've missed her so much. She is one of my most treasured friend and we have been friends together since we were 7. Now that's almost 20 years ago....my childhood friend. It used to be quite a few of us. But as life goes by....people tends to drift away and lead their separate lives. But then there are people like Dee and Jerie that hold on to this friendship and hold on to it. Still remember when we are young during teen life where all the girls kept an autograph....the popular ones will have several every year..??? The most popular quote is Friends Forever....not true most of the time....after Primary 6, a quater of them will go somewhere else....transfered to other school or classes. They disappeared. Then came Form 4 with Science and Art Stream....most got separated and blown away in the wind of time. Then the first crossroad of life, college and university. Most almost all of us got separated and well some just plain disappeared. Each will have their own set of friends and groups. Some just lost touch and disappeared.

Now at the age of 26, all of my friends are pursuing their careers, engaged, half got married, and some already have a kid or two...!!! And until today, now while I'm typing din realise how much peoples life have changed, how far mine's been taking me. Sitting here contemplating how much time have passed and many have come and go. Feels like time has just reverse itself and I'm remembering the time where I stood among many others monkeying around under Rambo Tree in Ong Tiang Swee with John Lio and Lee Kiet, fighting with Terrence Leong and Nigel, being notorious at school, throwing tennis balls with Reza and Hardy Hamden, being best friend with Hyril .... and the most of all....my first mentor....Mr George Michael Tan. A well respected man and some I got close to and gain his attention for being notorious.

There is so much in life that we have gone through and most of the time, we never looked back. And after a time, we ceased to remember our childhood friends and knowing wht have made us who we are today. People like Jerie, Dee, Jo and Shim have made me wht I am today. Now thats is wht I call friends and they are really wht Friends Forever stands for. And now I got a phone call from Sam. Mandy's bf. Wht can I say about him but just being plain troublesome. Calling me when his com crapped up. He is like wht I feel like some chewing gums that got stucked under my shoes. Bothersome and annoying. And hard to get rid off.....*frowning* there are others like him that I may or may not mention. One thing for sure...people like him...AVOID AT ALL COST. He may need you one day, but most day he is willing to kill you. Creepy.

I think this is an overly long post....dunno whether it will get publish or not...but will keep Charlene happy for a very long time....haha. So here you go Charlene. Read to your heart content. And have a good laugh. I'm hungry now...gonna try out my new pasta recipe.

2006-08-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

Need A Head Check ????

2006-08-08T03:15:00.000-07:00

Just Another Day

2006-08-07T16:37:00.001-07:00

Reflection Of Life

Its 12.30am on the Tuesday morning. Can't sleep with lots to worry about. Work, finance, working relationship, time and the most importantly, My Life. Recently, my life have sunk to an all time low. Living a life as a bachelor most people think is a blessing and freedom for granted, but for people like me, when struggle through life alone, constantly fighting against the tide, looking back where you realise that you are alone against the sea, sometimes you wish to stop fighting and set urself adrift. Sometimes I feel like I am standing alone in the world, among the crowd yet still feeling like I am looking through the spy glass. Many lives come and go oblivious to their surrounding. As I stands here observing people around me going through their daily lives, I am amazed at times where people are just so engrossed with the notion of earning money, that they can forsake all their lives.

Then they are some who takes things for granted. Living in their own little shells hiding never go out to venture into a tough real world ahead. I am so taken back with some people who can be so ignorant and so arrogant with their life that you wish life itself will deal them a joker and throw them into the fray. Will they make it out alive ? Perhaps not. Most individuals that I met in everyday life, well most are either materialistic or individualistic. Some sadly have been swept away in the angry current of money making and work loads.

Maybe that is the life here in England. My life here in a foreign land. Know nobody and feel like a stranger in an alien world cut off from all the familiarity and security. The feeling of vulnerability and hopelessness. What is the point being successful when you are living a miserable and lonely life ? A life on your own where there's no one cares whether you live or die. Many have said it is easy to hook up with someone and find a companionship. Is it so easy as it seems? Is it worth the trouble or is it just a waste of time? Maybe it is the time just to think it through, putting some effort into it and pull my guts together. Heck...I just can't be bothered with such stuffs...!!!

Though being here far from home, they are a few friends that I can say really worth being with Lena and Mandy, they have been really sweet and fantastic to be with. Even by talking in the phone, they pull you into their life, making you feels like you are a part of their life. Then there is my really dear friend of mine, Dee, a friend that I grew up with, though we seldom communicate, everytime we meet up, it is a pleasurable moments. Things that we talk about, everything under the sun, bringing up the best of everything and it is so entertaining and laughter. Reminding me, sometimes you have to look at life at a different angle. Thanks Dee.

Then came a stupid, perverbial, obnoxious and twister individual that I called my bro. I can't stand him at times. But then he got that damn charm that really pissed me off and make me feel darn itchy fingers to really tweak his ears. That demented bugger. Surprisingly he grew up from a shoddy SOB to a rather ....damn...lost of word....well...rather nice asshole....hahahahhaha....lol...oh he gonna love this. Damn discredited my first blog......from an innocent rant to a full blown porn....damn him. Well....that all the compliment I can give you....now shod off....hehe...woi...had a good laugh that day. Haven't laugh that hard for bloody ages...!!! Can't remember when is the last time I've laugh that hard. =) Thanks a lot you bloody idiot. I think he gonna rip this apart as well....