Identity.....???
Until recently, I am still unsure of who I am, or what am I going to be, should I get my act together, or do I just go with the flow, just see where the waves of Life going to take me. Or should I put my feet down and say, " Alright, from now on this will be the real me" . These are the questions that have been running in my head and it just never get to be answered. It does come down to one thing, that is self-confidence. I must admit, it has been the bane of my existence all this while, and some of my best friends did raised the concern and gave me supports.
Who am I want to be actually? Through out the years I have spend most of my time alone. Though plenty of times, I am seen mingle with others or hang around with groups of friends, I am still pretty much keeping to myself. Is it because I am an anti social or just being a bore? The reason I kept to myself is because I love to observe. To be in the background observing people as they go on with their lives, things they do, stuffs they say, their body languages, outlooks, habits and styles. While observing these facts, I found myself adapting to them and their way of life. I have become the character who changes masks according to the surrounding, never revealling the true self, studying what others are doing and the choices they are making. As the world goes by, I just stood there behind the scene, observing as lives whirl by, people coming and going until one day I have realised that I myself would like to take a step into the whirlpool and blend in. To be a part of someone's life.
A step into the reality. Before blending in and adapt to others around me, it is time for me to set myself, to be what I want to be and what I like to be. From all the observations, I have grown to understand the meaning of Life, the struggles, the sacrifices and the suffering. These few months is going to be the stepping stones for me to determine what I want to be. At least until Chinese New Year. This will be the journey towards maturity, experience and wisdom. Lo behold, there are a lot of discoveries to be made. With the help from Doc Freakenstein of course.
Labels: Me, Myself n Hank....... 0.o ??? |
I'm sure you will find it. everyone is searching, learning about themselves as the years go by. You will get there one day doc. may this be the new turn of your life, for the better of course!! =>