| Thursday, September 28, 2006 |
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Identity.....???
Until recently, I am still unsure of who I am, or what am I going to be, should I get my act together, or do I just go with the flow, just see where the waves of Life going to take me. Or should I put my feet down and say, " Alright, from now on this will be the real me" . These are the questions that have been running in my head and it just never get to be answered. It does come down to one thing, that is self-confidence. I must admit, it has been the bane of my existence all this while, and some of my best friends did raised the concern and gave me supports.
Who am I want to be actually? Through out the years I have spend most of my time alone. Though plenty of times, I am seen mingle with others or hang around with groups of friends, I am still pretty much keeping to myself. Is it because I am an anti social or just being a bore? The reason I kept to myself is because I love to observe. To be in the background observing people as they go on with their lives, things they do, stuffs they say, their body languages, outlooks, habits and styles. While observing these facts, I found myself adapting to them and their way of life. I have become the character who changes masks according to the surrounding, never revealling the true self, studying what others are doing and the choices they are making. As the world goes by, I just stood there behind the scene, observing as lives whirl by, people coming and going until one day I have realised that I myself would like to take a step into the whirlpool and blend in. To be a part of someone's life.
A step into the reality. Before blending in and adapt to others around me, it is time for me to set myself, to be what I want to be and what I like to be. From all the observations, I have grown to understand the meaning of Life, the struggles, the sacrifices and the suffering. These few months is going to be the stepping stones for me to determine what I want to be. At least until Chinese New Year. This will be the journey towards maturity, experience and wisdom. Lo behold, there are a lot of discoveries to be made. With the help from Doc Freakenstein of course.
Labels: Me, Myself n Hank....... 0.o ??? |
posted by Doc Freakenstein @ 1:42 PM  |
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Updates...!!!!...
After taking a long, long hiatus from blogging, well I would like to update on what have been going on and what is going to happen in the near future. First off, I am currently in the process of moving to my new place ....having to spend 5 years and 4 days in Portsmouth... I guess it is time to move on and find a new place or a new environment. No more sharing a house with strangers, having to bear with no privacy, to have ur private room intruded, looted, messed up, not having someone puking on ur carpet, pinching your goodies that you are saving or hiding....not to have housemates having to come back, drunk and rowdy, fights, doing drugs, smokes in your room, leaving beer cans around the place, spilling it and causing your room smelled like a pub, using your computer when you are not around, watching your private collections of...errr...*cough cough* anime (hey..what are you think , huh??), having strange girls dropping by to see your housemates (it can be depressing you know), to be picked on when you are not doing your duties properly or not doing it at all (I am very notorious in skipping my duties), having cops and marshalls barging into the house, and many many more. I am free from all this. Yii pee.
Can there be changes in my life after I move ?? Never know. A few of my colleagues been hinting on stuff we all could do together from binge drinking (just kidding)...more to weekly meet ups for a game of pool to badminton, walking doggies in the park, mountain biking at the nearest park, golfing and even having friends over for a meal. All this sound very social ...joyous and happy...like this are looking up. Hmmmm...something to look forward to ...yes..???
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| posted by Doc Freakenstein @ 1:14 PM |
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| Thursday, September 21, 2006 |
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The Unexpected....
(And this is on the 15 June 2006)
I guess nothing much happened until recently.....wouldn't want to bore you all bout my work. Seems to spend more and more time in the office rather thn home. Nowadays got to office at 7.30am and came home around 7pm.....Depressing. Well...I hope things will pick up and there will be more interesting posting *fingers crossed*
Anyway....thought life just set into a boring routine .....until stuffs started to happen yesterday. On my usual drive to work at 7am till I got into an accident. I was driving around 50mph when cars in front suddenly stop......damn sudden as well....and I was practically stood on my brakes and pulling my handbrakes. Managed to stop in time but unfortunately cars behind failed to stop in time and ran into the back of my car.....bleeding surprise when i felt a big jolt in my car and I just gasped...*OH SHIT*...
Then I came out of my car a bit shaken to see the damage...and to my utmost surprise.....I was SHOCKED to see there are 4 other cars behind also crashed on each other.....Oh My Gawd...!!! Looked back at my car....I saw a big dent on my bumper.....then I went over to other vehicle to check on the drivers....car No.3 and 4 looks like it will be written off. The front and the back were totally wrecked....steam and smoke came out of the cars....The driver of car 3 i have discovered just got her license just 6 days ago...and she was really shaken ...poor girl....others seems to be ok...
That time, we have created one heck of a traffic jam.....the accident happened on the motorway.... during AM Peak time somemore......later I heard the jam queued for almost 5 miles. Wow....5 minutes later police arrived and took some details from each drivers...drove to the hard shoulder and 2 cars need to be pushed...then I was being questioned and took a breath analyse test.....check for alcohol comsumption.....I think thts too early in the morning...when all details were taken...well...time to move on and get to work......now I gotta sort out my insurance claim...and to fix my car...thts gonna be next week....Went for a car inspection this morning...and the damage I am entitled to claim is about GBP800.....wow....well....tht will sort out the existing scratches and dinks....
Well I just hope things will worked out right at the end....kinda realise tht I'm darn lucky not to get hurt and the damage was not so bad....though it is a bit of a sore eye to drive it around now.....haha...
Anyway...hope things will sort itself out these few days....now I'm going to bed...zzz....until next time..... =P |
| posted by Doc Freakenstein @ 5:14 AM |
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Thought Of The Day
(Taking from my previous post at June 2006)
Been going through several photos posted by several of my friends in friendster......and came to a conclusion....I need to get a life...and get a darn digital camera. ^_^
Same thing with a few fav bloggers that have impressive collection of photos from daily encounters and memories posted up and reflect how interesting and colourful are their lives. For me, these few weeks have been harrowing and mind boggling. Work, work, work and more work. UUgghh.
Seems to me that it is a surprising news from other perceptions where working in UK means you have to bear with the boredom and things are plodding along in a slow pace. Well this is not the case for my work. Stuffs piled up to my nose and I'm building a Great Wall of UK of files and stacks of paper on my work desk. Things are not looking too pretty. Well that all for work and just went through my salary review and work appraisal.....hope things will be looking up.
So here I am...back from the dead and now manage to sit down and relax...trying to fill you in with whats been happening these few weeks...
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NOTHING.....nothing been going on really just a trip to London last week to meet up with a long lost friend of mine. It has been a really good meeting and catching up with each other. She's one of the Sarawakian that came over to futher study and now she is working for a big company in UK and have a successful career. Took me to a few places in London....National Modern Museum or something.....Chinatown...Meridian Greenwich.....the place where the time zone started....GMT...felt like I was standing at the starting point of time for the day. Great view of London from there though....cos Meridian Greenwich is near London and it is the high hill for miles around....surrounded by parks and flower garden. Weather at that day was terrific...can't show you the photos just yet cos it is still in my friend's place. Went to Harrods.....oh my..tht place really reeks of $$$$, Sheiks, Millionair-wannabes, yuppies...and some poor lost tourists.
So thats my days in London, reason for going also to break the routine of wandering around Portsmouth bored and wearing a get-me-outta-here look. Anyway, next day, I went to Commercial Rd back in Portsmouth to get a new contract for my phone. Now that I stuck to my first ever hp that I got (a Nokia 8310)...I'm desperate to get a new phone. sent my K750i home for my mom "sempena sambutan Hari Ibu" hehehehe...have a shot at my rusted BM...=P
Currently I'm ogling over this Samsung latest phone.....E900...which I think beats the crap out of tht LG Chocolate.....sorry Kenny.....LG...hmmm...got a long way to go. Got everything set up ..but O2 says that I got 3 lines which are still active and they cannot grant me another one.....WHOT..???...3 lines..??!!..So I go about cancelling 2 of those lines.....thought I have done it months ago....and now I have to go all the hassle to cancel the account ...writing in to say that I'm finish with O2 and piss off......we are in 2006 and still have to write letters....???!!!...hello...???...whats wrong with emails..???..geez...buying stamps....writing letters...print.....stick it in the envelope....look for a post box....I'M TOO LAZY TO DO IT...too much hassle. Things I need to do...uugghhh
Gawd...I'm all squinty eyes now.....tired...been a bz day today....but I'll leave that to the next post. Oh hey, Charlene is due to be back any days now...so I'm kinda expecting a call from her these few days....Welcome back to UK girl......and oh....She's moving to her new apartment.....lucky girl....Anyway Cheerio..!!! |
| posted by Doc Freakenstein @ 5:10 AM |
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Just Another Day Well...here I am sitting in my office, fiddling around with my pen and try to look busy (as usual). Feel really tired today having to wake up 6.00 in the morning and to drive 40 min to work. Life can't get any better than this. By the time I got to the office, I'm ready to go home...!!!
Stayed up very late yesterday cos I was reading a good book and it is hard to tear my eyes off it till I got to the very end. And now sitting here, I felt like someone has been flushing my head in the toilet bowl a couple of time. Things are not looking up. Tons of work stacked up on my desk with bits and pieces of papers strewned all over my table waited to be sorted out. Well this gonna be another day at work *sigh*. Its time to get some magic water..!! Coffee. The substance that will keep me going for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I will be reduced to a caffeine loaded zombie that stare blankly at my computer screen.
Looking outside, the blue sky, the green trees and the chirping birds seems to be beckoning me to spend a day outside and here I am, sitting here, looking out *sob*. Someone get me outta here..!!! Can't wait for the weekend ... and that's a day away. My colleague is suggesting to visit a local pub nearby during lunch break and hey..thats a very good idea =) It is kind of a routine outting usually on Friday, but today the weather looks too nice to be stuck here in the office. So hopefully I could dunk a pint or two, a game of pool and soak up the sun. Things might improve for the better later in the afternoon. Jeez....all this ranting really make me sounded like I'm having my mid-life crisis. Well....more like a quarter-life crisis. Haha.
Tonite will be my second attempt to get my TV to work again =( When one of my director overheard that I don't have a TV, he was horrified and offered me one of his 14' portable TV. Great..!!!..Finally I got a TV to watch. The problem now is that currently the room I'm renting is more of a bunker than a proper room. Trying to get a reception in my room is like setting up a TV in an underground car park. Yesterday, I bought a long aerial cable with magnetic end so u can stick it to something metallic outside the house for reception. So yesterday nite, I was out and about , armed with my magnet, sticking it to anything from water pipes, rubbish bins, garage doors, laundry lines and even my car...!!! but to no avail. Reception in my housing area is really terrible. So have to make do with grainy pictures for now =( Tonite I might grab my cooking wok and stuck it on top of the roof. Lets see how things go tonite. |
| posted by Doc Freakenstein @ 4:56 AM |
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| Me, Myself & I |
 - Name: Doc Freakenstein
- Location: Eastleigh/Kuching, Hampshire/Sarawak, United Kingdom
Oh wht can i say.. a typical guy with the sense of discovery and adventure. Seeking excitements and thrills in life. Fun loving and twisted sense of humour kinda guy.
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